Three Meals: Three Words

A word from breakfast to those not yet retired.

Last week a retired pastor invited me to breakfast. He was hurting. He had just received word from a religious publications enterprise that the three manuscripts he had worked on for three years would not be published after all. Economic times in the publishing world are rough. So there would be neither publication nor any writing fee for the many months of hard work. That hurt but not the most. Secondly, he told me that he had heard that his pension fund would be reduced by 9 percent per annum for the next three years. That hurt but that was not the worst. The worst came from deep within.

He felt ignored and seen as no longer as valuable in the church. He had been a “very successful” parish pastor. His congregations grew in every way and were often used as models for others. His workshops around the church were well received. When he retired he had left his last parish and joined a new one 100 miles away. And since then there had been virtually no one who seemed to need him. He had offered to be a guest preacher but had almost no response. He was one of four retired ministers in his current congregation, yet the pastor had never sought his opinion or tried to gather those colleagues together for mutual conversation and consolation. That, he said, hurt the most. That leads me to my first word and it is to those not yet retired: Seek out a retired Lutheran educator in your area. Invite him or her over for a chat. Have them as a special guest at a school function. Remember them during Lutheran Schools Week. They and you will be blessed.

A word from lunch to those who are retired.

Last month I had lunch with a retired colleague. He told me of how he had taken the initiative to keep in contact with colleagues still in active ministry. Of course, he waited to allow some time to elapse between his retirement and the present. But then he, as a retired person, took the initiative. I learned from him that it is a good idea for the retired educator to reach out to those still serving. Check in. Tell them that you appreciate the ministry they are carrying on. Recall the good time you had when you held that position, and how satisfied you are now to be retired from that, and your eagerness to see your successor’s work. Take just a minute (or more) to give them a heartfelt, “Atta Boy!” or “Atta Girl!”

Then check in to see if and when it might work out for you to get together, either at their place of ministry or elsewhere. The goal is for you to listen, to reaffirm, to encourage.

A word from dinner to those who may be retired while not yet retired.

At a dinner some years ago I met a prominent lay person from a nearby parish. I told him that I had just heard that their long-term pastor had just retired. His immediate comment, “No, Mel. He retired about five years ago. It is just now that he is formally announcing it and going on to social security and pension!” I got the message. Here was a person who had run out of gas some time ago. He was just going through the motions. His congregation and he himself were probably both frustrated. The truth is that he had for whatever reason “retired” but was still showing up, just hanging on. And that is my third piece of advice: When the flame has died, when the ideas no longer come, when it is just a duty and a matter of counting the days, then retire.

Retirement can be a great life. And not just at mealtime. Welcome aboard.

Mel Kieschnick spent more than 50 years serving Lutheran schools, both nationally and internationally. In retirement he lives with his wife, Jane, in Carlsbad, California. He invites you to visit his blog.

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Three Meals: Three Words

A word from breakfast to those not yet retired.

A word from lunch to those who are retired.

A word from dinner to those who may be retired while not yet retired.